I should have trusted it would be this way, just as it always was when I was a student.
Who knew recovering from childbirth, would be remarkably similar to my essay writing process.
These things cannot be forced into being before their time, despite my fretting, framing, or frantic attempts at forcing them into fruition.
As an undergrad, I used to read, worry, and write, but with little evidence of progression; until one morning I would awaken, to the earth having shifted, and my assignments would practically write themselves.
As it turns out, coming back from having Emily is fundamentally the same.
This morning I woke up feeling like a new woman. My body felt healthy, my mind clear, and my spirit completely restored and renewed.
Who knew the midwives would be right in their assurances there would be a turning point around the six-week mark. Just as they were about other landmarks along the road.
We are going for a walk, I announced to Emily as I practically skipped into the shower. Almost tripping over my excitement along the way.
The rain had stopped, and I had found my currency; the one thing I needed in order to get over myself, and get on with living.
The idea came to me in a flash of brilliance, the way these things often do. If I put Emily in the baby carrier that will make my body strong and supple. In fact, it might even yield better results than pushing the pram.
My head became giddy with the prospect, and I could barely get those breast pads in quick enough.
I wondered why I had not thought of this before. And why now the shift? Oh who cares, let’s go let’s go let’s go… Therefore, after 15 minutes of grappling with the baby, and the baby carrier, whereby my daughter showed her usual abundance of patience, as we wrangled her into said contraption, we were finally ready to embark on an adventure.
I chose the longest cane I had, in order that it would be able to reach well beyond my newly adopted mama kangaroo stance, and navigate us safely through the environment.
Not to mention it happened to match my shoes. Which let me be honest, is always a bonus.
Although I had forgotten, when it comes to traditional navigational aids, with length, comes weight. Therefore, it was not long before my wrist was sore, and I was making mental notes to get in touch with Emma, my orientation and mobility instructor to discuss alternatives.
However, this was a minor detail, of which could be dealt with later.
Come to think of it, it was not long until everything was a little sore.
My pelvic floor felt like it was going to give way as we trudged up the slight rise leaving our house.
However a little weakness was not going to hinder my progress. We continued on our way passed the park, over the train station, through the shopping precinct, and to the library.
All the while, a very proud and patient papa stayed beside me – ready to take the baby girl if I needed.
I had my cane in one hand, my husband in the other, and our beautiful brand new baby safely strapped to my front. Her little head peeking from under my chin. Now what could be better than that?
She smelt divine in that new born kind of way. Her unique scent wafting ever so considerately to my nose as we bobbed along.
It certainly was not the power walk I had imagined, but I was so proud of myself.
For anyone else this may seem like a non-event, but for me it was a celebration of regaining my independence.
I never thought I would see a dreary stroll through the dullness, which are our local shops as something so empowering and uplifting.
Those bumpy ill-fitting pavements, lumpy tar, and poorly put together paths may as well have been fluffy clouds of nine.
Woohoo, yippy yahoo🎉
Navigating safely with Emily has been a primary concern from the day we knew she was on her way.
How would I do it? What would work? And what wouldn’t work? Are some of the questions we have had to address. And as with anything, we are still finding our way.
However, today? Today I went for a walk. That is worth a happy dance.